stuffigot:

I hope that while on my death bed, I’d have imparted enough decent advice on the people around me to enhance their lives just a little bit. Maybe some more than others. The point is, I try to say things for a reason, for a cause. There’s no sense in wasting perfectly good oxygen on some meaningless phrase like, “lets keep it!” or “git-r-done.”

It is with this preface that I suggest, to you, and to everyone, that you take these words with as much importance as possible; “IF YOU HAVE TALENTED FRIENDS, USE THEM WHILE THEIR STUFF IS STILL FREE.”

I have a little friend named Erin Pearce, and her talents far exceed the amount of space her body takes up on this planet. She does the voice of one of the characters in the television show Yo Gabba Gabba, keeps me entertained with her facebook/tumblr updates and most importantly, is a real sharp artist. How sharp? If her skills were a cheese or a sword, they’d be wisconsin watoosi sharp cheddar and the sword from the movie Blade.

Anyways, one day at Gabba land, I saw one of Erin’s doodles and discovered that she draws most of her things for fun, as an innocent hobby. “How exciting,” I thought out loud. “I wonder if I could commission her to draw something for me.” That time I thought that in silence, because one of the girls in the bathroom stall next to me heard me think out loud the first time. They truly are the more sensitive sex.

I let the wheels in my head turn as much as they are allowed to, and came up with an idea.

Not even a full day later, I am presented with a hand drawn manifestation of my request; Me, eating a deer, in the wild. She even put me in a fucking tank top!

Needless to say, I was extremely pleased. Just look how awesome this is! This was the best gift I’d received since my mother gave me the gift of Life. Life Cereal. Its my favorite. 

What I’m getting at here is that chances are, you have a friend who cooks, plays an instrument, makes japanese sex dolls or heck, even draws things real well. Maybe one of these friends will become ultra famous by means of their incredible talents, and they forget about you because they’re too busy going to Kaballah meetings with Aston Cuntcher. Oops, I spelled that wrong. Ashton Cuntcher. There we go.

Why not completely exploit your friends talents by asking for a hand made dinner, a song about you, a doll that has the same pubic hair color as you or heck, a drawing of you eating a deer like a wild animal?

I hope you don’t think I’m telling you to do this so that you could in turn sell this possession for money in the future, because that is not the case. My hope is that you appreciate your friends while they are still starving artists, because that’s when they need it most. Sometimes people who create things will gladly take a heart felt compliment over a pay check for their work. Personally, nothing motivates me more than having supportive friends who are stoked on the things that I do.

So Git-r-done, and take advantage of your friends talents while they’re still just for fuck’s sake!

awww evan says such nice things about me :D and look the trees look like penis stalks